The Commish Report: Week 9
Is it Movember already?!
Welcome back to cross-division game play or as the Crossfit Division calls it “Harvest Season”. Last time we did this the Legacy group went a combined 1–11 or what Hue Jackson would call “Progress”. Seriously, how can you fire a coach in the middle of his best season?
As if the federal legalization of marijuana wasn’t enough to prove how much better Canada is now than America, this week they showed their football is better than ours too!
All Colin Kaepernick’s lawyers need to do to prove their collusion against him is point at the 2018 Bills QB depth chart with Nathan Peterman, Derek Anderson & Matt Barkley on it.
Thank god Brock Osweiler fell back to earth last week. Unfortunately Houston only knocked him down to that big pile of money they paid him 2 years ago.
I may regret saying this but I believe in Jon Gruden. Either he is purposely tanking to collect draft pics and salary cap space to have his team built in time for the move to Las Vegas (further shitting on the best/worst fan-base in the league Oakland) or he is the worst NFL coach in the league right now. A league with Jason Garrett. I’ll bet on Chuckie.
On to this week’s matchup! (6–0 again last week!)
MATCHUP OF THE WEEK!!!! Hard Gronk Life vs. Big TDs: Some things in life are better than they’re given credit for. The TV show Blue Mountain State for example, or ripping open a fresh bag of cereal in the morning or 90s alt-rock band Everclear. Katie’s team is the most underrated team in our league. Her team has scored more point than half the league yet she only has two wins to show for it. Even though she faces the hottest team in the league with the biggest TDs in Mike, Yahoo has her as a 4pt favorite and I don’t think that’s a fluke. Connor and Big Ben has their worst fantasy games against Baltimore and those were at home, Chiefs won’t need big plays from Hill to beat the Browns and Sony Me’Shell ain’t playing. I’m calling it! BMS wins an Emmy, Everclear wins a Grammy, Katie beats Mike’s team and I’m having Capt’ Crunch for breakfast! By 10 crunch berries. Ain’t life wonderful?
NotMakingThePlayoffs vs. Scoop n Poop: This would have been the most interesting matchup of the week, 5th place vs 4th place, if Eric hadn’t though Peyton Barber and Jordy Nelson were viable starting options. If Katie is the most underrated team, Eric is clearly the most Overrated team, having the easiest schedule thus far and a 5–3 record. He’s the Jennifer Lawerence of our league. I gotta think the defending champ, 11–3 all time against Legacy, bounces back from last week’s loss with a smooth victory this week, by 14pts.
Y! Picks vs. Probably has a landscaping business: Another coin flip of a matchup between two squads at .500. My mom’s team packs a lethal 1–2 punch of Vikings and Saints skill players (Thielen, Kamara, Thomas & Diggs) whereas Casey went all in on wideouts with Jones, Hopkins and Cooks. Craziest stat of the year has to be Julio Jones with 800+ receiving yards and 0 Touchdowns. I don’t think that’s going to change this week against a sneaky good Redskins defense but I can’t see Ito Smith scoring either. This one will be close but I think Casey has a Kittle bit of an edge this week so I’ll give him the nod by 7pts.
Carla’s matchup: Hello darkness my old friend. Kim wins big.
The Undefeated one vs. The Mormon One: Micah doesn’t even feel like he needs to play a defensive player to win this week and you know what, he’s right. Micah wins by 15pts, gets cocky, challenges Khabib.
Evil Shenanigans vs. The Marilyn Hansens: Players I really believed in and wanted to draft that Anne stole from me…Corey Davis, Carlos Hyde, Chris Carson. Other than Corey Davis, I’m still angry about this and will have my vengeance this week. With over half her team on BYE week, I expect a solid win moving my win streak to 4. Evil prevails by 10pts.
The Commish
S.
