The Commish Report: Week 8
Ya know, it’s pretty remarkable that I’ve ever even touched a boob considering how much I enjoy video games and fantasy football. But let me be honest with you, deep inside me is a huge empty hole where the lack of a Fantasy Football championship within the last decade festers. It maintains a dark iron grip on my blackened soul. Today is October 26th 2019 and I’m in 1st place. 1st. Place. Some people named Eric Pitt have no idea how this feels. Some people named Eric Pitt may never know how this feels. It feels good. Like touching a boob.
The Chargers lead the league in long drives that end in a turnover. That’s the only way you lose to Ryan Tannehill throwing to Corey Davis. That and of course Melvin Gordon. How does anyone NOT believe Melvin Gordon is sabotaging the team that wouldn’t pay him from within? That makes waaaaaaay more sense to me than pro-bowl bruising half-back Melvin Gordon can’t run the ball in from the one yard line on multiple attempts, almost fumbling once before completely fumbling on the very next play. The key to the Chargers season is simple….Make Ekeler Great Again! #MEGA
I don’t understand the hate toward Andy Reid for calling a QB sneak with his 24 year old quarterback when 58 year old Tom Brady had himself two rushing touchdowns just the week before.
Mitch Trubisky is really good at Matt Nagy’s ‘overthrow a wide open Allen Robinson’ play. Its no wonder why they keep calling it. In fact, there’s an amazing twitter thread I want you all to read right now about Mitch Trubisky’s progress at being an NFL Quarterback.
Click that link…go ahead!…. I’ll wait and when you get back we’ll talk about this week’s Matchups! (4–2 last week but sure “its” a thing)
MATCHUP OF THE WEEK!!!!! Evil Shenanigans vs. Hard Gronk Life: Oh am I favoring myself and my beautiful wife by making us the most important matchup of the week? Probably. Married couples always make the best matchups in our league, yes, but what really makes the battle of the Robertseses so worthy of the honor this week is that I currently hold the #1 spot but Katie, statistically, has the #1 team. Luckily for me Katie’s down not one but two Running Backs. Ronald Jones the second and IF YOU SNEEEEEELLLLLLLL WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKING jr. doesn’t concern me much. I expect Russ Wilson to connect with Tyler Locket hopefully only once against that joke of an Atlanta Defense but my team is in 1st place and almost at full strength. Miami is so bad that maybe JuJu will catch his 3rd TD of the year and Kelce HAS to have his long overdue big game with Mahomes on the sidelines. I beat my wife…[pause for effect]…by 16pts.
Ghost of Thad Castle vs. NaughtyNurse: Alexander Mattison looked just as good as Dalvin Cook for the Vikings Thursday night, maybe even better? That Vikings offensive line is massive and Zimmerman calls offensive plays like a young Marty Schottenheimer. Anne’s season would come to a screeching halt if something were to happen to Cook. It would be a real tragedy. But don’t worry about that Anne! I strongly predict that Dalvin Cook will NOT get hurt this season, The New England Defense WON’T go off for the seventh week in a row and Anne WILL WIN by 30pts.
Pruitt vs. Pruitt: Mormon’s politely fighting this week as Carla faces Steve. Adrian Peterson turned the clock back to 2007 on Thursday night… the one time Carla didn’t play him as a starter. With his Boys on BYE, Steve hit the waiver wire hard finding gems Edmonds and my old flame MVS. This fantasy matchup is at least more interesting than a real football game between Trubisky and Goff would be. I’m going to go with Steve here because Cincinnati Bengals and any player I drop is bound to be successful moving forward, Steve by a 23yard MVS touchdown.
Shock Y Asombro vs. The Notorious One: Casey has three tight ends on his roster and none of them are playing this Sunday. That’s about all I need to know. Micah by 14pts.
TDs and Beer vs. No Luck Needed: Daniel Jones, Kirk Cousins, Mathew Stafford, Jameis Winston, Derek Carr, Josh Allen, and Jared Goff….these are all the QBs that either Mike or Jake have started on their team since the season began. This is the blueprint for barely missing the playoffs. I’ll take Jake this week, putting both these squads at .500, which is exactly where Quarterback roulette should put you. Jake by 10pts.
SomehowInThePlayoffs vs. Cairn Express: If the playoffs started today Eric would be in the playoffs. That doesn’t seem right. Cairn’s win on big performances from Diggs, Rodgers and Thomas by 13pts.
It’s Flannel and Sweatpants weather!
This. This little piece of writing, diving into the current state of Monday Night football, is everything my little commish report could hope to be someday. You should read it if you have the time (i.e. no children). Here’s a taste…
This year’s NFL offseason saw the departure of two people from the Monday Night Football on-air team: Analyst Jason Witten quit TV to go be a football player some more, and rules expert Jeff Triplette was dismissed because ESPN executives were disappointed to find out there is actually only one of him.
And I love that joke because it comes out of complete no where’s!
Spent the afternoon at Kansas City’s Rieger Distillery. The original Rieger Distillery sat on a block of KC in 1881 that was known as the ‘Wettest Block in the World’ before prohibition happened. Today they’ll let anyone pour a bottle of their Whiskey and I do mean anyone.
Closed on Sunday, you my Chick-fil-A
You’re my number one, with the lemonade.
The Commish
S.
